“These will be perfect for us!” I said to Tim. With our very active, fairly disorganized lifestyle, ‘shockproof’ phones would surely suit us well. I had done my research and the Samsung Galaxy S5 was said to be one of the most rugged phones on the market – I even watched videos of it being dropped onto cement and run over by a car! So we signed the contract and each became the proud owner of a Galaxy S5 – the “Sport” (a.k.a. even more rugged) version.
But, alas, within a couple months, even with our extra-tough cases, we had both cracked our screens! We were, of course, *shocked* because this wasn’t supposed to happen. It was hard to accept the fact that even our best efforts couldn’t prevent the cracks from forming… and that we were now stuck with damaged screens for almost two more years!
In my early years of being a Christian I thought I was strong. The cracks I had from my childhood hardships and teenage mistakes were erased. Because of Jesus, I had overcome and was ready for any challenge that lay ahead of me. I was going to make a difference in this world, no matter how hard things got, because nothing could be too hard for Him! I genuinely believed I was shockproof.
But time after time I’ve found myself broken – shattered by circumstances and people – or most often, by my own sin. It turns out I’m much more fragile than I thought I was and just because I have the power of Jesus inside of me, that doesn’t make make me immune. Every time I think I’ve got it all together, another crack appears – and most of the time I don’t even know how it happened!
In 2 Corinthians 4:6, Paul encouraged the believers by reminding them of the incredible gift they had been given: “For God, who said, ‘Let light shine out of darkness,’ made his light shine in our hearts to give us the light of the knowledge of God’s glory displayed in the face of Christ.” As believers, a light has been powered on inside of us so that we can see the truth about Jesus and then help others see it, too.
Which sounds great… until you read the next verse:
“But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us.” (v. 7)
Clay jars, like glass phone screens, are fragile and easily broken. No matter how strong and powerful the light inside of us is, that doesn’t mean the container is unbreakable. Our human bodies, hearts, and minds are prone to cracks. Notice the “we” and “us” of this verse. Even Paul – the writer of a large portion of the Bible, a man who gave his entire life to growing the church and who did give his life in refusal to stop growing the church – even Paul knew he wasn’t shockproof.
When I think about this it frustrates me. Why would God do things this way? It doesn’t make sense! If you were going to choose a “vessel” for your “light,” why would you not search for the strongest thing you could find? Why would you purposely choose something weak?!
It reminds me of the scene in the gospels where Jesus walks up to Matthew, a despised tax collector – a man who betrayed his own people by working for the enemy and, in his selfishness, likely stole from them as well. Matthew was sitting at his tax collector’s booth – he was literally sitting in his sin – when Jesus looked him in the eye and said, “Follow me”.(Matthew 9:9)
Every time I watch this scene in “The Bible” series (Episode 7, about 10 minutes in – check it out if you can!) it breaks me all over again. It just doesn’t make sense! Why would Jesus choose someone like that? Why would He choose someone like me? He knew from day one how fragile I would be and how many cracks I would take on and yet He still looks at me, in the middle of my darkest moments, and says, “I choose you“. WHAT?
It turns out, though, that this cracked-up life of mine is exactly what He’s looking for. Because my cracks remind me of where I came from and how much I don’t deserve anything that God has given me. They remind me of how He’s worked in my life by covering every single one of them with His grace, peace, and love. And when I look at them, I know without a doubt that I have no room to tell Jesus how He should do His work.
A few months ago, we were finally able to upgrade to new phones (yay!). But, honestly, I kind of miss the cracks. No matter how annoying they were, there was a certain camaraderie I felt with other people whose screens were also shattered. It was an easy conversation piece as we swapped stories on how it happened – and it was never offensive to ask the question because mine was obviously broken, too.
It’s frustrating to look at our lives and realize we’re Matthew. But that means we’re Matthew! Because “while Jesus was having dinner at Matthew’s house, many tax collectors and sinners came and ate with him and his disciples.” (Matthew 9:10) Sometimes our brokenness, even when it’s a result of our own sin, has less to do with us and more to do with those who can relate to us and meet Jesus because of it.
We’re not shockproof, but maybe that’s a good thing. We don’t know why God would choose us, but maybe He knows something we don’t. Maybe the cracked ones are the best ones because they allow the light to shine though. And maybe all those fracture lines in our glass reflect the light of Jesus a little differently than we otherwise would.